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Thursday, July 17, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
ill miss u.....
In Loving Memory of my 'Raju Bhaiya'....
When i was 3 , i was d lone child n d festival of rakhi was d last thing on earth to be enjoyed ... but then there was this person who lived near my house n was my mom's fren's son....i fondly called him raju bhaiya....a brother who cared for me like one and made me feel as special as his other two sisters even in the absence of any blood relation between us....every year during the festival of rakhi i used 2 wish for his long life...in return he'd gift me cadbury celebrations......n if not dat...then loads of money...one day i asked him...bhaiya why do sisters have to pray for a long life for their brothers n why do brothers promise to protect them in return...isnt that just obvious....being a sister ill always wish for ur better.....he smiled back n handed a dairy milk as an answer....wat more i did not ask anything more...his wedding was one of the special days of my life...the day when my brother got married....i was overwhelmed by the fact that ill hav sum1 to call "bhabhi" now....he was very happy too...i was too...for him...eventually after his wedding he shifted to noida....i hav never been 2 his place in noida in 2 years....25 may was the day i came back to delhi from mumbai .....n durin d way back home dad told me that raju bhaiya had committed suicide in his office a week ago..the news was shocking...depressing...devastating...unbelievable...tears flew unstoppably from my eyes....for the next few days i planted myself in a cocoon...not talkin 2 anyone....just sitting...standing...crying... remembering the days i spent with him...why he took such a huge step....n how he must have suffered...its depressing that ill never be able 2 c u again....not on rakhi...not ever ...the last words if i can recall that he told me a long tym ago was to cum to the house that he had bought wid his own money...not a penny from his parents....unfortunately....his last wish from me has still remained a wish...i did not visit his place ....and i do not intend to......his suicide note said he committed suicide due to financial trouble...perhaps the house cost him his home...his family...his life.As tears still flow by....i can only say ill miss u...n u didnt have to do this....
When i was 3 , i was d lone child n d festival of rakhi was d last thing on earth to be enjoyed ... but then there was this person who lived near my house n was my mom's fren's son....i fondly called him raju bhaiya....a brother who cared for me like one and made me feel as special as his other two sisters even in the absence of any blood relation between us....every year during the festival of rakhi i used 2 wish for his long life...in return he'd gift me cadbury celebrations......n if not dat...then loads of money...one day i asked him...bhaiya why do sisters have to pray for a long life for their brothers n why do brothers promise to protect them in return...isnt that just obvious....being a sister ill always wish for ur better.....he smiled back n handed a dairy milk as an answer....wat more i did not ask anything more...his wedding was one of the special days of my life...the day when my brother got married....i was overwhelmed by the fact that ill hav sum1 to call "bhabhi" now....he was very happy too...i was too...for him...eventually after his wedding he shifted to noida....i hav never been 2 his place in noida in 2 years....25 may was the day i came back to delhi from mumbai .....n durin d way back home dad told me that raju bhaiya had committed suicide in his office a week ago..the news was shocking...depressing...devastating...unbelievable...tears flew unstoppably from my eyes....for the next few days i planted myself in a cocoon...not talkin 2 anyone....just sitting...standing...crying... remembering the days i spent with him...why he took such a huge step....n how he must have suffered...its depressing that ill never be able 2 c u again....not on rakhi...not ever ...the last words if i can recall that he told me a long tym ago was to cum to the house that he had bought wid his own money...not a penny from his parents....unfortunately....his last wish from me has still remained a wish...i did not visit his place ....and i do not intend to......his suicide note said he committed suicide due to financial trouble...perhaps the house cost him his home...his family...his life.As tears still flow by....i can only say ill miss u...n u didnt have to do this....
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Where is humanity???
have u seen humanity??...i think he...oh no she....hell watever....(hmm..let us assume humanity is a 'he'...)....yaah so i think he's lost somewhere...or maybe he has lost his way....because i cant find him anywhere...neither in my neighborhood...nor in or near my college...neither on the roads...nor in the temple...not even on t.v. or newspapers...he cant be found anywhere...i hope he's alive....its improbable though...
Delhi is the rape capital...mumbai has the largest no of people involved in commercial sex trade...everyday n number of people are killed...a woman in mumbai dumped her 9 year old boy on railway tracks because he was paralysed...he is now taken care by his grandmother who lives with him on the streets...no food no shelter....a man raped his daughter...a few days back a rickshaw puller raped a blind girl in north campus then beat her up...a domestic help killed his 80 year old employer....
these cases are innumerable which suggests the absence of humanity...i hope he wakes up someday or finds his way through...and if u can help us find him...please do....we need him...
Delhi is the rape capital...mumbai has the largest no of people involved in commercial sex trade...everyday n number of people are killed...a woman in mumbai dumped her 9 year old boy on railway tracks because he was paralysed...he is now taken care by his grandmother who lives with him on the streets...no food no shelter....a man raped his daughter...a few days back a rickshaw puller raped a blind girl in north campus then beat her up...a domestic help killed his 80 year old employer....
these cases are innumerable which suggests the absence of humanity...i hope he wakes up someday or finds his way through...and if u can help us find him...please do....we need him...
Monday, April 28, 2008
The un-known Religion
just another discussion with a friend one day turned out 2 b a 'weird' one.....i always thought India is still not free...still not secular.... but listening to the fear from a friend was disturbing.....The discussion re-affirmed my thoughts about GOD.......even though he might exist....i t is improbable that he is cloned into...the prophet....jesus....ram....waheguru...and so on....(only today i came 2 know there are about 33 crore god and goddesses in India....phew maan!!!....)
well back 2 d issue...a cousin of hers who is studying at IIT Kharakpur was not granted the visa for a trip to the US because he was a Muslim n his name matched 2 d one of some terrorist.....the officer told him..."if ur a Muslim why don't u live in Pakistan???"...hell man...wtf is he to tell him whr he shd b livin??.......what right does he hav 2 say that????
We are all such big racists.....the whole world.....bloody religionists....i cannot in any way imagine the state of mind she is in....coz i cannot understand the fear...the fear of being a Muslim.....my religion never affected me although im not even a firm believer in it....i never thot religion could form barriers around you dat it wud limit ur physical movements....its sad...its tragic....its hideous...this country is as much hers as mine...then why shud she b scared ????.....the fear is not limited to her ....its actually because of all of us....each one of us.....
such an attitude is above all disgusting....we talk of racism and claim Indians can never b one coz we are secular....!!!!.....cum on.... up people....why shud one's religion be his/her identity???....isnt there anythn else on earth that we have started makin religion such an issue?? .....why??...why???
well back 2 d issue...a cousin of hers who is studying at IIT Kharakpur was not granted the visa for a trip to the US because he was a Muslim n his name matched 2 d one of some terrorist.....the officer told him..."if ur a Muslim why don't u live in Pakistan???"...hell man...wtf is he to tell him whr he shd b livin??.......what right does he hav 2 say that????
We are all such big racists.....the whole world.....bloody religionists....i cannot in any way imagine the state of mind she is in....coz i cannot understand the fear...the fear of being a Muslim.....my religion never affected me although im not even a firm believer in it....i never thot religion could form barriers around you dat it wud limit ur physical movements....its sad...its tragic....its hideous...this country is as much hers as mine...then why shud she b scared ????.....the fear is not limited to her ....its actually because of all of us....each one of us.....
such an attitude is above all disgusting....we talk of racism and claim Indians can never b one coz we are secular....!!!!.....cum on.... up people....why shud one's religion be his/her identity???....isnt there anythn else on earth that we have started makin religion such an issue?? .....why??...why???
just exploring.....
the faith of religion....
if it comes to define myself i cant...its just something next to impossible...so wen a few days ago a fren asked me asked wat my religion was, i said...i had no religion but wen he askd again i said technically i shd be a hindu....he was obviously laughing his guts out at my wierdness n also said "everythn u say evokes another question"...well iv just accepted d fact dat im wierd.....n i dun wanna du nethn about it....i just dont care....
at least i dunt blindly go to d temple n ask for "gud marks n money n more money n more money...." well folks cant i jst believe in myself???.....i might sound like an atheist but im not exactly one....im not anti god....just individualistic...cant i jst be....jst an individual..... ..undictated......undisturbed....why is it so difficult in dis world to do what u want 2 do....to say what u want to say....to be what u want 2 b........n not analyzed n interpreted n misinterpreted.....
why is it essential to go to d temple n pray??.....even if one does believe in god why cant he just pray anywhere......or is god's address fixed??....well in that case he must b a terribly busy soul...soo many places 2 b at d same time....phewww!!!......well its not that i don't visit places of worship....d only difference is dat i only go to seek some solace n peace of mind...be it any place....a temple...a church...a gurudwara (plus langar...heehee) or a mosque....i do not disrespect those who are god-loving people...perhaps its my shortcoming that i could not understand His importance....His presence....
if it comes to define myself i cant...its just something next to impossible...so wen a few days ago a fren asked me asked wat my religion was, i said...i had no religion but wen he askd again i said technically i shd be a hindu....he was obviously laughing his guts out at my wierdness n also said "everythn u say evokes another question"...well iv just accepted d fact dat im wierd.....n i dun wanna du nethn about it....i just dont care....
at least i dunt blindly go to d temple n ask for "gud marks n money n more money n more money...." well folks cant i jst believe in myself???.....i might sound like an atheist but im not exactly one....im not anti god....just individualistic...cant i jst be....jst an individual..... ..undictated......undisturbed....why is it so difficult in dis world to do what u want 2 do....to say what u want to say....to be what u want 2 b........n not analyzed n interpreted n misinterpreted.....
why is it essential to go to d temple n pray??.....even if one does believe in god why cant he just pray anywhere......or is god's address fixed??....well in that case he must b a terribly busy soul...soo many places 2 b at d same time....phewww!!!......well its not that i don't visit places of worship....d only difference is dat i only go to seek some solace n peace of mind...be it any place....a temple...a church...a gurudwara (plus langar...heehee) or a mosque....i do not disrespect those who are god-loving people...perhaps its my shortcoming that i could not understand His importance....His presence....
Sunday, March 9, 2008
FILM REVIEWS
MORALITY TV AND THE LOVING JEHAD
DUR:29 MIN
DIR: PAROMITA VOHRA
The film is largely a mockery of the concept of Breaking News onIndia
OCCAM'S RAZOR-ISHRAT JAHAN'S VERY EASY DEATH
DUR:24 MIN
DIR:PRITI CHANDRIANI
A very well made film it raises questions about the manner in which encounter killings are carried out in India.Ishrat Jahan Raza who was 'murdered' be the Ahmadabad police along with three others for allegedly plotting the murder of Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi.The film questions the way in which the so-called-encounter was carried out.Considering that the "terrorists" were traveling in a car with an original number plate,had i-cards which were not found to be fake, and the gun about which the Gujarat police claimed that the terrorists first open fired (there were no bullet marks on the police vehicle and no policeman was injured) for which they had to counter attack, was still locked.After this whole operation there was no explanation by the 'brave' Gujarat police and it ais a possibility that Ishrat was innocent and had no knowledge as to what was awaiting her on that ill fated day.19 year old Ishrat was killed in a cold blooded murder by the Ahmadabad police which time and again has been regularly continuing this practice each time in the name if assassination of Narendra Modi...
DUR:29 MIN
DIR: PAROMITA VOHRA
The film is largely a mockery of the concept of Breaking News on
OCCAM'S RAZOR-ISHRAT JAHAN'S VERY EASY DEATH
DUR:24 MIN
DIR:PRITI CHANDRIANI
A very well made film it raises questions about the manner in which encounter killings are carried out in India.Ishrat Jahan Raza who was 'murdered' be the Ahmadabad police along with three others for allegedly plotting the murder of Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi.The film questions the way in which the so-called-encounter was carried out.Considering that the "terrorists" were traveling in a car with an original number plate,had i-cards which were not found to be fake, and the gun about which the Gujarat police claimed that the terrorists first open fired (there were no bullet marks on the police vehicle and no policeman was injured) for which they had to counter attack, was still locked.After this whole operation there was no explanation by the 'brave' Gujarat police and it ais a possibility that Ishrat was innocent and had no knowledge as to what was awaiting her on that ill fated day.19 year old Ishrat was killed in a cold blooded murder by the Ahmadabad police which time and again has been regularly continuing this practice each time in the name if assassination of Narendra Modi...
Friday, March 7, 2008
SOLD...
"WHEN I WAS TOLD I WILL BE SOLD
I THOUGHT MY BODY PARTS WILL BE CUT OFF AND SOLD....
I WAS WRONG.....
WHEN 'IT' HAPPENED TO ME EVERYDAY EVERY TIME I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER HAD MY BODY PARTS SOLD OFF...."
Identity: prostitute
Age: 14
when she was told that she is being sold she thought that her body parts will be cut and sold off....little did the innocent mind of a child realize that what would happen to her would be worse....
her parents could not afford her anymore so they 'sold' her like she was some vegetable... had that been the case it wold not have such an effect on her... she was made to sleep with six 'men' at one time....
men- wondering why i highlighted the word??.....well because those don't even deserve to be called men nor animals because even animals are not so heartless....i wonder what could be the psyche of the 'man' who would do it to a child the same age as his own children....
child prostitution is a billion dollar industry in India with child trafficking being easily possible from different states and no laws to control them... India's child sex industry is the second largest in the world next to Phillipenes...and nothing is being done to save those trapped....even if laws are there..implementation is absent...there is enough evidence to prove that even those claiming to 'save' and 'protect' us are a part of it....
I THOUGHT MY BODY PARTS WILL BE CUT OFF AND SOLD....
I WAS WRONG.....
WHEN 'IT' HAPPENED TO ME EVERYDAY EVERY TIME I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER HAD MY BODY PARTS SOLD OFF...."
Identity: prostitute
Age: 14
when she was told that she is being sold she thought that her body parts will be cut and sold off....little did the innocent mind of a child realize that what would happen to her would be worse....
her parents could not afford her anymore so they 'sold' her like she was some vegetable... had that been the case it wold not have such an effect on her... she was made to sleep with six 'men' at one time....
men- wondering why i highlighted the word??.....well because those don't even deserve to be called men nor animals because even animals are not so heartless....i wonder what could be the psyche of the 'man' who would do it to a child the same age as his own children....
child prostitution is a billion dollar industry in India with child trafficking being easily possible from different states and no laws to control them... India's child sex industry is the second largest in the world next to Phillipenes...and nothing is being done to save those trapped....even if laws are there..implementation is absent...there is enough evidence to prove that even those claiming to 'save' and 'protect' us are a part of it....
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
My Elysium
Well finally I am pulling all thoughts (read: memories of a lifetime….) together to write about the love of my life….zack. Well this one is for you zack.
you changed and irritated, mindless ,short tempered, not-caring-for-emotions , feeling-less, insensitive ,pessimist into…a well…instead of acting narcissist I’d rather say…a better person…..(only if the readers who know me agree to it…discretion not advised…I am trying to be serious and emotional….)
Its been one and a half years since we first met and I held you in my hand…my hands trembled….you must have been barely a week old…I couldn’t spot your ears or your tail…u hadn’t opened your eyes by then…that moment….most special in my life….happens again everyday every hour…even though you’re big now (and have bitten me twice…)….
Thank you for all those times you growled at my friends who playfully tried to raise their hand on me. And also those two days when I didn’t eat food and you also didn’t eat because of me. Thank you for making home….a magnetic field ….
Even though I know you love mom more than me ….i love you
Even though you pull my hair….i love you
even when you bark like hell on passing motorists every time I take you out…I love you
and you still eat chapatis like chewing gums (and eventually spit them out)…I love you
you (sometimes…) intentionally pee on my Almira and run away the next moment (indicating how naughty you are that out of all the others you only pee in my room… )…I love you…
you get into dogfights with Browny and Suzie (I know how much you hate them..)… I love you
Even though you are still pulling my pants so that I take you to the terrace and play football….i love you
Before I close…a few words for you…straight from my heart…(and eric claptons too..)
Would you know my name, if I saw u in heaven
Would it be the same, if I saw u in heaven
And since we still have a long way to go … thank you for choosing me out instead of all the other ‘needy’ people who are still deprived of this special feeling….love you more than anything else…
your ‘didi’
Sunday, February 24, 2008
a human by birth..a hijra by choice...
guess the above line says it all...
the other day i was on a bus and at one particular stop a 'hijra' entered the bus....she said one hijra from their community had died and they needed money for the last rites...i kept looking at her....i couldn't get my eyes off her....i was trying to face read...'is she lying or does she really need the money?'...i asked myself...she went to every seat begged every passenger....i kept on thinking...should i or should i not...is she lying or not...she came to me too...i had a few coins in my hand which i held tighter...but why?? i kept on thinking about her for days....some days later i saw a documentary on eunuchs in mumbai who had resorted to prostitution to earn a living.... they had no qualms about it...they were 'happy' or so?
they narrated how they reached here and what all problems they have to face being an eunuch....
how they ran away from their homes and reached here....how their families disowned them....one of them narrated what all she had faced...i was shocked...fascinated and intrigued all at the same time...she narrated how she was castrated....her penis removed without any medical aid...no anesthesia....nothing sterile...she stood there naked while her gurus surrounded her the room occupied to the fullest...the others were preparing for a 'celebration'...she looked around her...the walls full of pictures of their gurus and various other gods and goddesses...she was scared,excited,nervous...and happy all at the same time...she would now be a complete woman...she didn't care about the unsterile environment or because she might get infected...such thoughts didn't bother her....and suddenly...her guru slit her 'male organs'....that night there was a celebration....she was a woman now....a few weeks later she went back to her village... somewhere in south India...her parents were 'happy'...their boy was now a girl....the word spread like fire amongst the villagers and they visited in hoards to see how ramesh was no longer ramesh but rani...
the other day i was on a bus and at one particular stop a 'hijra' entered the bus....she said one hijra from their community had died and they needed money for the last rites...i kept looking at her....i couldn't get my eyes off her....i was trying to face read...'is she lying or does she really need the money?'...i asked myself...she went to every seat begged every passenger....i kept on thinking...should i or should i not...is she lying or not...she came to me too...i had a few coins in my hand which i held tighter...but why?? i kept on thinking about her for days....some days later i saw a documentary on eunuchs in mumbai who had resorted to prostitution to earn a living.... they had no qualms about it...they were 'happy' or so?
they narrated how they reached here and what all problems they have to face being an eunuch....
how they ran away from their homes and reached here....how their families disowned them....one of them narrated what all she had faced...i was shocked...fascinated and intrigued all at the same time...she narrated how she was castrated....her penis removed without any medical aid...no anesthesia....nothing sterile...she stood there naked while her gurus surrounded her the room occupied to the fullest...the others were preparing for a 'celebration'...she looked around her...the walls full of pictures of their gurus and various other gods and goddesses...she was scared,excited,nervous...and happy all at the same time...she would now be a complete woman...she didn't care about the unsterile environment or because she might get infected...such thoughts didn't bother her....and suddenly...her guru slit her 'male organs'....that night there was a celebration....she was a woman now....a few weeks later she went back to her village... somewhere in south India...her parents were 'happy'...their boy was now a girl....the word spread like fire amongst the villagers and they visited in hoards to see how ramesh was no longer ramesh but rani...
Friday, February 15, 2008
WE-DAY
it came....it stayed....it rocked everyone's pockets.....and finally it went.....and HOW....
Every year....14 February comes in India with a hullabaloo ....on one hand are the 'lovers' and on the other are the so called "anti social elements"...with so much moral policing around....freedom is hunting for a meaning....
those who are against it call it a western phenomenon which is --------- the indian society. And for whom the day has a 'meaning' call THEM the anti social elements....amidst all this the meaning of love and relationships is folded, molded and bettered to its worst....
A daily newspaper Metro Now celebrated Valentines day in a hatke style...what i loved about their way of celebrating this day was that...they handed roses to all those people who -through their artistic styles- were trying to make the city a better (read:stinkier...dirtier...actually...worse) place to live in. Through their style of 'Gandhigiri' they caught all those who were peeing in public and handed them a rose. They even took their pictures which were published in their newspaper.But it was not only those who were peeing in public were celebrating the 'special' day....there were more....the autowala bhaiyas who always refuse to go by the meter(or dont go at all!!) .... jaywalkers etc etc....
In all ...a commendable attempt by Metro Now....and also a very nice way to celebrate valentines day....
It needs to be understood (and accepted...) that valentines is not only for those who have those 'special someones' in their lives....its just another way of expressing love....to anyone, with anyone...be it your friends....family....or your city....
Every year....14 February comes in India with a hullabaloo ....on one hand are the 'lovers' and on the other are the so called "anti social elements"...with so much moral policing around....freedom is hunting for a meaning....
those who are against it call it a western phenomenon which is --------- the indian society. And for whom the day has a 'meaning' call THEM the anti social elements....amidst all this the meaning of love and relationships is folded, molded and bettered to its worst....
A daily newspaper Metro Now celebrated Valentines day in a hatke style...what i loved about their way of celebrating this day was that...they handed roses to all those people who -through their artistic styles- were trying to make the city a better (read:stinkier...dirtier...actually...worse) place to live in. Through their style of 'Gandhigiri' they caught all those who were peeing in public and handed them a rose. They even took their pictures which were published in their newspaper.But it was not only those who were peeing in public were celebrating the 'special' day....there were more....the autowala bhaiyas who always refuse to go by the meter(or dont go at all!!) .... jaywalkers etc etc....
In all ...a commendable attempt by Metro Now....and also a very nice way to celebrate valentines day....
It needs to be understood (and accepted...) that valentines is not only for those who have those 'special someones' in their lives....its just another way of expressing love....to anyone, with anyone...be it your friends....family....or your city....
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